After 15 months, I’m tempted to say that I’ve got this parenting thing under control. I’ve struggled through two bad baby colds, successfully sleep trained, planned a kick-butt birthday party for 50 guests, and cured the diaper rash from hell. Most days, I feel like Super Mom. (Talk to me again when we’re potty training and I’ll have a different perspective.)
But there are a few mom questions I still don’t know the answer to. Because adulting is hard.
What are you supposed to do when YOU are sick?
I don’t mean “sniffly” sick…I mean “food poisoning” sick. “I-literally-cannot-move” sick. “I-have-a-104-degree-fever-and-I-don’t-want-to-get-the-baby-sick” sick. (All of these actually happened to me.)
Is my husband supposed to call out for 2-3 days? What if he can’t? My husband works in retail; what happens if I get sick over the holidays? What if my parents can’t get off work?
Someone needs to start an emergency at-home nursing business.
How much diaper rash cream are you supposed to put on?
Are you supposed to rub it in completely or leave it white? Where exactly are you supposed to put it? Do you really put it on at every diaper change or just when they have a rash? Tbh, I’ve been totally improvising my way through this. Speaking of which…
Are you supposed to wipe after just a wet diaper or only poopy ones?
After said “diaper rash from hell,” Bear’s pediatrician told us to cut back on the wipes, since even the most gentle ones can cause irritation and rashes. We did some research and found out that you don’t have to use a wipe on wet bottoms. Uh…when was someone gonna tell me this?!
When can she eat raw apples and such?
When she gets her first molars? Her back molars? When she stops cramming her mouth so full that she gags? Because at this rate, she’ll be eating her first raw apple slice the day she gets her drivers license.
How am I supposed to wash my baby’s legs in the bath?
Seriously: they’re under the water. When she was little, I could lift them up out of the water while she was lying on her back, but now that she’s sitting up, that doesn’t work. Is it okay that I just soap up my hands and wash her legs under the water? Because I’ve tried standing her up in the bath. Homegirl ain’t havin’ it.
When do they get their first haircut? What are you supposed to do with it in the meantime? It long enough that it’s always in her eyes, but too short for ponytails. Plus, she always pulls clips and headbands off. I can’t cut it, because I want it to grow….
Moms of boys, you lucked out here.
How are you supposed to load a toddler into a rear-facing car seat?
Without bonking their head on the car or pulling an arm out of socket? Is my kid just unnaturally tall? Am I missing something here?
I can’t be the only one asking these questions. What aspects of motherhood are you still confused about?